1. I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.
2. I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
3. Lord, if I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
4. My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
5. I cleaned my house yesterday, sure wish you could have seen it.
6. This isn't clutter, these are my antiques.
7. If you don't like my attitude, call 1-800-Who Cares.
8. If it's true we are what we eat, I am either fast, cheap, or easy.
9. Discover Wildlife!  Have Kids!
10. "Genuine Antique Person, "Been there, done that, can't remember!"
11. Our policy is to always blame the computer.
12. Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
13. Take my advice, I'm not using it!
14. Okay!  I love you!  Now can we eat?
15. You know you're getting old when you stop to think and forget to startagain.
16. Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.
17. I love to give homemade gifts ... umm, which one of the kids would you like?
18. I have a million dollar figure, but it's all loose change!
19. By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence!

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